Comparison + Jealousy: The Dynamic Duo
There’s no easy way to approach the dynamic duo of comparison and jealousy- They are ugly bullies for words and it isn’t an aesthetically pleasing conversation to have. But if we don’t at least say them out loud, we’ll always feel like we’re alone in a room with them. We've all made awkward eye contact with them from across the room, having this odd desire to continue the awkwardness and stare harder, gaining obsession. We’ve blamed other people for them, we’ve let them ruin our day, our week, our year. They’ve shown up on birthdays, wedding days, sunshine days. They come skipping in, arms hooked together and they beg to be paid attention to.
And all we can do is laugh in their face, outstretch our arms, forfeit our human flaws and well up with the truth that we aren’t any of the things they tell us we are.
It does no good to fall under the false impression that we’ll never compare ourselves to anyone- We are silly and we are stubborn, and we will. But we can gain a love for ourselves strong enough to remind us otherwise when we do. There’s no reward found in bitterness or resentment. You will not find yourself higher up the mountain by shoving other people down it or by comparing your pine tree to someone else's oak tree. We can't become a new tree by pretending we have the same kind of branches as them.
We’re our best selves when we’re caught in the middle of obsession with the kinds of things that give us new reasons to be ourselves- Truth, wheezy and squeaky belly laughter, poetry, live music, golden hour sunsets, middle of the afternoon thankfulness. It’s healing to remember how important it is that we are here, every new day we wake up is like a reminder saying “Hey, I liked having you here yesterday so much, I’d like to have you again today.”
After all, this is the skin you’ve been set here in. It would do you good to at least show up, proud to be wearing it.